A short one today.

Was going to comment on the report I saw yesterday morning on the Today Show on NBC concerning the Monica Lewinsky article in Vanity Fair.

In the report correspondent Peter Alexander told of her article and some of the comments in it concerning Hilary and Bill. His report included a clip of Lynne Cheney, delivered on Fox News naturally, speculating that the Clintons themselves were behind the publication of the story. You know to get it "behind them" so that by 2016 it was "old news". (As if something that happened almost 20 years ago and figured in an impeachment proceeding from 16 years ago isn't already old news).

Alexander came out of the Cheney clip with the phrase "true or not...". 

"True or not?", I wondered incredulously. The more accurate statement from a reporter following the clip would have been "As crazy as that is". I thought here is everything wrong with traditional network news media today. Take an inflammatory wild-ass statement from someone with no particular credentials to be considered an expert, and incorporate in your newscast, and give it the weight of credibility with a tepid "true or not". 

"Fair and balanced" and false equivalency trumping accuracy and sanity once again.

Funny thing is I went to the Today Show and NBC News sites to find the clip so I could link to it for this post and guess what? No Lynne Cheney. The Alexander clip on the Lewinsky story does not contain the Lynne Cheney opinions/speculations regarding the article and its timing. Instead we find a clip of Ron Fournier of the National Journal opining on how this hurts Hilary because it is not moving forward but dragging us all back into the past. No "true or not" response to the wild speculation from Ms. Cheney. Here is the current video of the report.

Apparently even the people at NBC News must have looked at their report and realized they were re-peddling batshit insanity on their network and making it seem that they themselves found it serious enough to air.

And in case you're curious here is a link to a Politico story about Ms. Cheney's musings that includes the clip from Fox News. 

Good times. Good times.  

I usually don't read Cal Thomas, a leading conservative columnist. In fact according to the Chicago Tribune he is "America's number one nationally syndicated political columnist". They couldn't post it if it wasn't true.

But when I saw from the title that the subject of his latest column was retiring Representative Michelle Bachmann, well I had to look. It's like a pile-up at a NASCAR race. You're obligated to look, heck you're almost not human if you don't.

So curiosity piqued I waded into the column. And I came away with a totally different picture of Mr. Thomas.   It turns out Cal Thomas may just be his generation's greatest political comic. Follow me below for further explanation. 

The humor began ever so subtly. He started off by noting that Rep. Bachmann has less than a year to go in her final term. Too early for an exit interview, but never too early to get the views of Ms. Bachmann on the issues of the day, including "how to beat Hillary Clinton in 2016". And he delivered that with a straight face! Pure comic genius right there. Because who else do you turn to for deep political thoughts or winning "strategery" than the founder of the John Wayne Gacy Fan Club? Or the woman who relies on scientific advice from some woman who comes up to her at an event?

But wait Cal wasn't done.  He asked her if she was disappointed the conservative cause has not gotten further during her time in Washington. Her response was that the conservative agenda requires voters electing people with "a biblical world view". Now some people might get the joke right there, but Cal missed an opportunity with this one. It required some more setup, some mention of how Rep. Bachmann and others are all up in arms about Muslims and Sharia Law. Then hit them with the biblical world view quote. Sometimes Cal you do need to hit the audience between the eyes with a 2 by 4.

Cal quickly redeemed himself however when the topic turned to getting Ms. Bachmann's advice on how a presumptive male Republican nominee goes about beating Hillary Clinton in 2016. And of course you already know what's coming next, but that doesn't make it any less hilarious. Or should I say "Hillary-ous"? Two words: "Benghazi" and "Obamacare". Pow! Bam! Sure you see it coming but it still leaves you rolling on the floor laughing your you know what off.

And again Cal was the master of restraint, transcribing these lines from Bachmann like they were to be taken seriously. Comic gold. 

First up in the one-two punch Bachmann advises for taking out Hillary: 
"Remind people (Clinton) is seeking to become commander in chief (and look at) how she has operated in the past with these types of responsibilities. She was in charge during the Benghazi debacle."

Yes. Yes. Benghazi. It really took Obama out in 2012.

But wait, catch your breath for the second in the combination from the dear departing Representative:

She says to label Hillary as the "the godmother of Obamacare", who worked "behind closed doors" to enact a similar program when her husband was president.


That one is the absolute best right there. How Cal kept from laughing out loud in Michelle's face and wrote it in his column as if it was something worthy of serious consideration is beyond me. I mean sure, what is now Obamacare was devised by the conservative Heritage Foundation as the market based answer to what the Clintons had proposed for health care reform. And sure, what is now Obamacare was pushed for a while by Senate Republicans at the time, again as the market based solution to counter the Clinton plan. But make believe that the Clinton plan was like Obamacare and pin it on her. And Cal plays along like this is a great strategy!


But wait, Bachmann is still not finished. Cal sets her up beautifully at this point. Despite the obvious and proven appeal of the twin Benghazi-Obamacare attacks, how, he asks Ms. Bachmann, does the GOP candidate overcome the "lure" some voters might feel to elect our first female president. 
Don't you worry, Michelle's answer does not disappoint. 

"Effectively she would be Obama's third and fourth term in office."

That one still cracks me up every time I read it. Yes, you can overcome the "female" angle by hanging Obama around Hillary's neck. You know with Benghazi and Obamacare. Because those issues weren't tried before. And that's where Cal Thomas has shown himself to be a true artist. Surely he knows the joke is that the GOP tried Benghazi and Obamacare as two of their main issues in 2012. Heck they flogged them to death. How many times did Mitt Romney promise he was going to repeal Obamacare, "day one"? Presumably by executive order. And we all know how he tried to make Benghazi a center piece of the presidential debates. And he lost in 2012 by something like 5 million votes to Obama. 

But Cal just keeps feeding Bachmann the rope and plays the straight man while she hangs herself by seriously proposing that Benghazi and Obamacare are the keys to beating Hillary in 2016. I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes. 

Just in case your ribs weren't already sore from all the laughing, Cal delivers another punch line stating that those issues and the prospect of Hillary being a continuation of Obama "might scare enough people to vote for the Republican nominee". Just like they did in 2012. I get the joke,Cal, I get it! My sides hurt, please stop!


And as a final gift, Cal shares one more Bachmann gem concerning the possibility of the first female president. She believes "a lot of people 'aren't ready' for a female president". You didn't even have to say it Cal. We know what you were thinking. We can insert our own joke here.
I'll have to begin checking out his columns more often. It's always good to start your day with a good belly laugh - or several.